arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
It's official drugs can't kill me
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Randomize
