You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I think people are normalizing furries
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
