Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
