sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
ttyl tear gas
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
