I'm really into asian looking animals
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Man, jail baloney is awful.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
