My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
