When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
honey bunches of taint.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
