theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
