She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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