Taylor Swift is so right about you.
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Randomize
