we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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