so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
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