You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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