I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
