I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
