u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
