Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Randomize
