Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
