these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
