no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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