I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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