he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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