I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
of course. lets lasso hookers.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
