plz talk dirty to me
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
