i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
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