What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
