apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
