I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
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