dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
this beer tastes like vomit already
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Randomize
