singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize