i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
