Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Randomize
