What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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