whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
