I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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