i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
