His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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