The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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