You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
