I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
