I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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