Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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