Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Randomize
