I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
