doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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