So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
