He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
