I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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