Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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