your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
